Names of Towns, Creeks, Rest Areas etc...

Gol Gol
Wagga Wagga
Gin Gin (I want to go there!)
Bli Bli
Chinchilla
Goondiwindi
Burpengary
Gympie
Town of 1770
Kangy Angy
Woolgoolga
Snug (I want to go there with my Gin Gin)
Steaky Bay (con?)
Devil's Kitchen
Hells Gate (went for a walk there yesterday)
Bloodwood Forest
Alligator Creek

Dare To Bare

Having made the 1 hour walk to the beach I could tell Chris was eager to get his kit off as he skipped down the stone steps.
As we set foot on the nudist beach his face dropped at the realisation that we'd arrived at low tide, so the distance of his naked "beach towel to sea run" would be longer than he had ever imagined!

Naked people popped up from behind the sand dunes reminding me of Meer cats. And we noticed that the beach was full of men and women of all shapes and sizes, but mostly men...mostly old...of small size. AND, an unusual amount of suspect joggers plaged the beach.

Chris carefully chose his spot midway down the beach between a gay couple each wearing nothing but cowboy hats, and a 60 year old power walker with breast implants that I suspect she'd had done many many MANY years ago!

Chris put his sarong down and stared at the sand deliberating the prospect of revealing his fluorescent white butt. And then, off came the shorts!!
He was a little bashful at 1st but you all know Chris, he's not one to do things by half. After 10 minutes toasting his back and front he sprung to his feet and skipped arms flailing with the enthusiasm of a puppy into the Ocean. I almost split my sides with laughter as he jumped over waves flamboyantly, and performed starjumps in shallow water exclaiming "I'm free!I'm freeeeee!".
Following 10 minutes of flopping around in the waves he expressed his concern at being stung by a jelly fish and returned to the shore.
Happy that he'd ticked a box in the "things to do before you're 30" list he returned to the relative safety of his army green board shorts.

So I hope you'll join me in congratulating him on what has been a very daring bare!
Sam

The Sweet Sound Of HORN.

After hating the sound of car horns in Vietnam, it was bliss when we realised our campervan didn't have a horn!
It was fun until that dam 6ft wombat walked across the road, and Kangaroos tease you by pretending they are about to run out infront of you.
Its also not good to have no horn when you need a roadworthy certificate to renew the registration of the van.
So with much hestitancy this morning I found the horn, found the problem, fixed it and hey presto the sweet sound of horn.
This arvo I'm getting the tyres changed then fingers crossed it will pass its Road Worthy test. If not - we are screwed.

Noosa Heads

We've moved on from the Gold Coast to the Sunshine Coast to a beautiful place called Noosa Heads. It has become our new favourite town in Australia, so Lorne and Palm Beach are relegated to 2nd and 3rd place.
Why? You might ask. Because Noosa has it all. It's a maze of rivers,lagoons, inlets and pure beaches sprinkled with airie million dollar plus beach houses. There are georgeous yatches and jetski's whizzing around living in harmony with the surfers and fishermen. It has a very green National Park you can walk through, the beaches are teaming with playful dolphins jumpin in and out of the waves and keeping humans company in the water, and there are planty of chic restaurants, bars and cafes that we can only admire from afar.
There's also plenty of little boutique style shopping and the roads are wide and linned with trees. It has almost a european feel about it and we really like it here, especially Chris who is enjoying the point breaks and getting used to the dolphins surprising him and popping up just in front of him, whilst I wait to capture the surprise with the video camera chuckling to myself as I always spot them first.

Sam

A Hard Afternoon

We had a tough afternoon yesterday. Sam caught this photo of me after she came back from the shower. Not sure if I'm doing my mother proud or not....

One Last Surfing Post.... Promise

Noosa Heads:
"Noosa Heads can lie flat for months at a time, but when it works its like drinking tea with God" Quote Marc Warner

We arrived here 2 days ago, and Nossa Heads was working. The waves are some of the most perfect waves we have ever seen. Unfortunatley 4000 other people arrived aswell, but I have one of the best (but crowded surfs) I could ever imagine.

Noosa Heads is the last place on the east coast that gets good surf, so it could well of been one of my last surfs in Australia. I'm gutted, but I'm sure you, and Sam are not.


Chris

Nudist Results

We have a winner..... or a loser. We will post photos as soon as the dare is performed.

Legal Immigrant

The Australian Authorities believe that i am in 'good health' and of 'good character' and are allowing me to stay in their country for a while longer.
They obviously haven't seen my diet or read the blog recently.

The Kind Of Classy Establishment Found In Surfers...

Costa Del Gold

Leaving rubber tyre marks in Byron we pegged it up to the Gold Coast. This is the 35km strip of coast between Tween Heads and Southport. The most famous of the towns must be Surfers Paradise. It was amazing when we drove round a headland to see in the misty distance across the sea the outline of what looked like New York City. Having seen nothing but trees and hills for the last 1000km it was an awesome sight in one of those mad made kind of ways.
The Gold Coast is a metropolis of everything we have grown to hate, gigantic shopping centers, high rise apartments, motorway sized streets, rush hour traffic and all things BIG and noisy.
For these reasons we thought we would hate it. Sadly not, we love it. The tackyness is incredible, but it goes perfectly with the white beaches, bright blue ocean with skyscraper back drop.
Girls in gold bikinis walk up and down the beach handing out leaflets to the latest casino or mall. Old women walk down the beach wearing massive shades and talking on mobile phones. Overly tanned overaged men wearing bright lime polkadot briefs lie on the sand, and adverts for the biggest theme parks light up the streets at night.
There are wax museums, water parks, movie parks, rollercoaster parks, seaworld and gun shooting academys advertised by pictures of naked women hold guns. Its hilarious. Its just as I imagine Venice beach in L.A or Miami.
I'm sure we will get bored of it all soon and head back out to the national parks to build a fire.

Burliegh Heads & Broken Boards

Burleigh Heads has to be one of the best breaks I have surfed yet. Apparently its one of Australias best point breaks. We arrived here on the Gold Coast a few days ago, and the surf has been puuurrrrrfect. The swell peels aroung the headland to make a clean and consistent right hander. Its hot enough to surf in your shorts, and gives really long rides.
The problem is that the swell is really powerful and breaks over boulders, and rocks. You paddle onto the wave and as it picks you up about 1.5 meters high all you can see directly infront is massive boulders and rock jutting up out of the water. If you dont tack down the line immediatley to get around the point you end up on the rocks.
The other day, I made it the first few times, but then caught the wrong wave and jumped from my board over the back of the wave just in time. The Blonde didnt make it. The wave took the board without me and the leash must of snapped so hard that it ripped a hole right through it.


Luckily that was all the damage and I managed to fix it, but now it looks like this...

I think I may of lost some of my DIY skills.

Spookie things

It's bad enough that when we drive at night with the massive juggernauts on the road I keep hearing the Jeepers Creepers song, but Australia has some other things that are a bit creepy and scary. For one the name of places, the rest stop are eerie in themselves but their names make them even worse! I've seen Sleepy hollow, bloodaxe woods, shark beach and anaconda creek to name a few. I point balnk refused to stay at Sleepy Hollow the other night!
Then last night all the noisy multicoloured parrots screached out of the trees around our site at once, and I wondered why. A short while later I said to Chris "Wow look at those massive birds! They must be a meter wide!", to which he replied "Yeah they are massive, but they're not birds". I flashed one with the torch and there was a HUGE bat!!!
So that's it, they have big bats.
Bye

Nudist Numbers

Australia seems to have more than its fair share of nudist beaches. It is not uncommon to go for a swim on one end of the beach, drift down alittle, then swim back in a big wave to be dumped back on the beach with an old mans willy hanging in your face.
Having read in the lonley planet that one of our nexy stops 'Noosa Heads' has a large nudist area, we came up with a funny dare whislt drinking several too many stubbies last night (as we said - thier ain't much to do at night).
Sam and I have picked a number, either 1 or 2. Now all you lot have to do is post a comment simply writing either the number 1 or the number 2. Who ever has the most comments by the time we next check the blog will have to sunbathe starkers for 30 minutes, making atleast one trip to the sea for a swim, much to the others enjoyment.
Ready, Set, GO !!!

Clause 1.0 The loser is alowed to pick his/her prefered part of the beach.

Illegal Immigrant

Like the idiot that I sometimes am, I arranged my flights so that I was in Australia for 3 months and 8 days. Then I applied for a 3 month tourist visa. Can you spot the mistake.
Therefore I have just had to pay $200 to apply to stay longer. There is no guarentee that my application will be accepted.
Australia are the most aggresive country at seeking visa 'overstayers' in the world, and apparently activly start looking for you the day after you should of left the country (according to thier website).
I think I do these things for the sake of the blog and your entertainment.
I will keep you updated.
Chris

Congratulations Martyn and Elaine

Congratulations to our friends Martyn and Elaine who recently got married in Banff, Canada. The lucky things look like they had a magical Winter Wonderland Wedding, at the other end of the thermometer to ours!

They had a superb time and we are gutted we couldn't join them but send them all our love from Oz.
Here are a couple of pictures of them looking gorgeous and happy.

Sam and Chris

P.S. Snow for confetti, how cool is that!!!!?????

Big Monday III

I didn't tell you about about last weeks big Monday, but again this week we had another big Monday. Here is a photo of Turners Beach, Yamba. Look closley and see the surfers duck diving the wave, it gives you an indication of how big it was, but once again the photo doesn't show it like it really was. The noise these waves make ask they come through is like thunder, even the Aussies were sitting on the rocks watching with ore.
Chatting to two Aussie surfers yesterday morning they commented on how *lucky* we had been that we had got 3 massive swells each week. Apparently it isn't usually anywhere near this big.
I beg to differ that I have been *lucky*, all I can do when its like this is sit and watch.

The Big Stuff

Australia, like America, seems to have a fascination with BIG stuff. Whilst in America everything is BIG, in Asutralia the obsession seems to extend primarily to seafood and crustaceans. I still don't undersatnd why but they have all these restaurants called: The BIG prawn, or the BIG oyster, or the BIG crab, or the BIG clam...you get the idea.
Anyway, these establishments have incorporated the cost of a giant plastic model of their corresponding crustacean into their business plans, and here is the result.


What do you think? Tacky or clever?

The Australian Diet

We blogged about the Asian diet, now this is the Australian diet.
Don't think prawns and steak, think pasta and bread.
Yesterday Chris ate 13 slices of Woolworths own-brand white bread, and I ate 5. It's not like the bread was an accompaniment to anything else, it was the main course in itself! In the morning Chris had peach jam on it, for lunch he had ham in it, and for dinner peach jam in it.
This is a mega carb plan, the opposite of Atkins, we've named it Fatkins.
We haven't thrown a single prawn on the barbie (just in the sea). Besides we are dissapointed with Aussie barbies. They all use hotplate electric or gas BBQs, not the British coal metal grill style ones.
So think of us when our own brand bread, spiral pasta and Weetabix next time you sink your teeth into a succulent steak.

Yum Yum

Chris and Sam

Marmite - Do You Love It Too?

Thank you so much to my in-laws for the Marmite I had been craving so badly. But guys you could have bought me a bigger jar!!!! Look at it, it's all empty and hollow already!
Vegemite doesn't compare, does anybody know of any concoctions that taste like Marmite?
Marmite if you're reading this you REALLY need to export, in the meantime I'll switch to jam :o(

Byron Bay

We have arrived at Byron Bay. It's mental. I have become a complete introvert. I can't stand anymore than 3 people around me at one time. I think it's the camping thing that has introverted me.
Byron is backpacker heaven (or hell). We were looking to buy our Fraser Island / Whitsunday Tour. It reminded me how much i hate booking things like this, each travel agent has four 18 year olds screaming at you saying "we wont give you a quote, just come back with your best quote from somewhere else, and we will beat it". You can't find the truth out about any of the boats because each tour slags the other off. We couldn't stand it for long, so with 4003 leaflets we ran off to 'the Pass' for a surf. This was even more of a joke. I have never surfed with so many people. At one point some girl on a LILO dropped in on me! I escaped the water and we retreated in our van to the quieter lands of Lennox Head.
We slept in amoungst our leaflets, I woke up with a boat called Dream Catcher stuck on my eyelid, so we booked it. We also booked a 3 night self drive 4WD adventure on Fraser Island.
We are now off to surf over some heads on Byron main beach.
With love from hell,
Chris

P.S Can all of you have done the whitsunday/fraser thing leave comments telling us who you went with, was it fun, what went wrong, what to do etc....

P.P.S After writing this entry I got a parking ticket for $75. Gutted.

Fishing Rocks

Ok, ok, so some of what Chris said is true. We did feed the fish almost a kilo of prawns which we probably should have eaten ourselves, and I have to admit that vergin on the obsessive-compulsive about having clean hands, prawn head juice on your fingers isn't nice!.
BUT, fishing is like gambling. It has a similar appeal. You invest cash (on bait) and you don;t know whether you're going to catch something or not, but the thought that you might, keeps you hocked.
You think to yourself "This might be the one. This might be the prawn that catches a nice juicy tuna". So you kiss the prawn and throw it in the water full of the hope you've endowed upon it.
Also, when you do actually catch something it's equivalent to a slot machine emptying out on your lap.

Chris did act strangely when he caught his fish, but mixed in with the look of horror I saw definitive excitement in his eyes.
Fishing has the added benefit of extending our evenings out. I took Chris night fishing and he actually fought with me over casting the last prawn (I won, but this was a sign he was having a good time)

I think the appeal of fishing for us is very different to other fishermen's, whilst others stand still enjoying the relaxing atmosphere, Chris and I find most of our enjoyment in hocking and lobbing. We do both of these things at a staggering rate, the hock isn;t in the water for any longer than 30 seconds and it's usually being reeled in for another go at hocking and lobbing. Our casting is also unique, I either throw it 10 centimeters in front of me, or into the golf of Thailand, there is no in between! Actually the other day I accidentally threw it behind me and nearly caught an old couple going for a walk!
Chris did an awsome cast, he almost caught a bird mid-flight. So as you can see (not for traditional reasons) FISHING ROCKS!!!!!!

Sam

Fishing Sucks

Walking to the beach with my 'Hawk Striker' rod in hand i hoped that I hated fishing. I have always looked at fishing as dull, people who fish on the banks of the thames just looked bored sucking on maggots.
I hadn't a clue about fishing, how to cast, how to hook bait, how to catch a fish, or how the hell the rod works.
So we found a spot atleast 100 meters away from anyone under 5 years of age, and turned on my Hawk Striker (yes - it does have an on/off switch, anyone know why?). I took a run up than whipped the end of the rod as hard as possible. The hook landed about 3 meters away, then 1 second passed before a fish swam up, ate the prawn, and swam off not forgetting the 'flyby jump out of the water to really take the piss' on his way back out to sea.
After 3 hours of this i decided to sack it off and go for a surf....but not before one last go. I cast rod, felt a bite, flipped my wrists and caught a WHOPPER, it was massive, i reeled it in, then just before yanking it from the sea i realised I had NO idea what to do next. I paniced, screaming like a girl at the sqirming breem infront of me I called to the Aussie guy next to us to help me. He runs over, unhooks it and passes it me for a photo. I lobbed it back in not wishing to add to my life time kill list of a small bird, and a wombat.
I went for a surf to recover, and came back after 2 hours to find my wife still at it! She clearly has the bug and loves it, but to me fishing always did and always will suck, i can happily now run down the river, trip over a fishermans rod and not run off wondering what he has caught.
Laters
Chris
P.S In the time that I left Sam fishing and came back, it had rained and thundered. Insane.

A Big Loss to The UK

Simon and Jules, two of the coolest people we know are returning to South Africa. The UK wont be such a wicked place without them. We tried to convince them to stay, but something about better weather, surf, and friends made them decide to leave. Yes I did mention to them guns, sharks, and silly words.
We have had some wicked times with them, from drinking a cup of tea twice a day for five days a week for 2 years at Nortel with Si, surfing in Newquay, the outrageously early weekend morning rowing down the thames for Eton Rowing Club, Simon breaking my nose 3 weeks before my wedding day, to the two of them doing the most awesome job at photographing our wedding.
In typical Comley style they are not simply catching a flight from LHR to Cape Town, they have bought and converted a Toyota Landcruiser and are driving from Maidenhead to Morocco, then back into Europe, round into Egypt and finally a quick hop down the length of Africa. Thier chosen weapon is pictured above.
This is the link to their blog African Feet , everyone please check it, i guarentee it will be a wicked read and have some amazing stories (including the one when the car gets jacked a gun point, stolen, and Si and Jules are left to walk out of the desert with nothing).

They truley will be sorley missed, not only my Sam and myself, but every other person who has ever had the pleasure to meet them - including my Aunties :o)
Hah hahah

Big Love
Chris & Sam

P.S Si, Jules - you don't escape that easily, we will be over soon to visit.

More Surfing Stories

Went for a surf with Sam again. She is pretty good now,... for a girl. She stands up everytime now and was wanting to learn the next thing.
I explained that to go down the line she had to catch a nice peeling wave, maybe take off at a slight angle, then put more weight on the side of the board in the direction you want to go, left or right.
She sits and selects her wave. My hopes weren't high, I don't think I ever really went down the line propely when surfing in Swansea.
Her wave is approaching, she spins the board around, and starts to paddle, it picks her up, from the back of the wave I see her stand up, then slowly tacked a little right, but then ZOOOOOOOOOOOOOM off to the right, she rode the wave for ages, right in the pocket, with white water to her left, and smooth wave to her right.....it was insane, i started cheering, some guy on the beach started cheering, and sam had her hands in the air. She ended up about 50 meters further right than when she had taken off. She paddle back with the inane smile on her face. She is hooked.
I spent the rest of the afternoon in disbelief. I have stopped teaching her now in the worry that she may get better than me.
Viv - in your request for photos, I will sit with the camera and video camera when she next goes out.
Laters
Chris

Gone Fishing.

Sam woke up this morning and wanted to do something different. I can't think why she would be bored of me surfing all the time. I agreed so we went to the Laundry to do some washing, she didn't get full satisfaction out of this, so we walked down the high street and saw a fishing shop. We had already noticed that the thing Aussies love more than BBQs, Surfing, Shouting loudly, and boys bleaching thier hair blond, was fishing. Everybody fishes, all the time.
So we bought a rod, some hooks, some weights, and some prawns. The guys in the shop couldn't believe we had never fished and found it amusing when we asked for a casting lesson in the car park. Sam caught Ford V8, and nearly smashed the windsreen with the weight.
So we are now off sea fishing, we have no idea what the hell to do if we catch something, but I reckon a few tinnies will help us out.
Sam scares me. She has just this second said, with that cold stare she has "We need a knife, incase we need to slit it". Wish me luck.
We will take photos of our catch and post soon.
Chris

The Perfect Home For A Pair Of Lemons.

Hugo and Ronna, pack your bags and move to Yamba. Your boat is morred in the harbour, and we have found an Antiques business for sale at the cost of $160,000.

Sam Is Surfing!

I ask alot of Sam. She follows me down mountain sides on whatever she can travel fastest on, a snowboard, blades, or her bum. She sits on the beach in howling wind lifeguarding me as a Windsurf in Vietnam, and now I drag her up and down the east coast of Oz sleeping in the back of a van in between a surfboard. She does amazingly well, puts up with me and makes every effort to join in, and keep a smile on her face.
So 6 weeks ago when I managed to convince her to splash out 400 pounds of our travelling budget on a piece of fiber glass and two rubber suits, I promised her all my time, whenever she wanted I would teach her to surf as best I could.
The first few sessions were a disaster, we stood in the white water getting continuosly pummled by the cold waves, again in the howling wind, both of us with icecream headaches. She didn't seem too excited about surfing anymore, and screams of "Puta Madre" (look it up) while she put the 12th ding with her right hook in the board made me think Sams surfing career, and my instructor career were over.
But as ever, the Spanish stubbordness came through and while I lay sunbathing on the beach, she grabbed the "Puta Madre" and swam straight out the back of the break and rode her back to shore. I couldn't believe it, my stomach turned upside down, and couldn't stop smiling.
Then to top it off, yesterday she actually came for a proper surf with me ( i was on the boogie board). She jumped into the sea off the rocks with all the confidence in the world, then sat on the "Puta" outback along with all the other surfers and waited for her wave. Sooner or later a beauty 3 footer rolled in, she lay down, paddled, and popped up onto her feet with ease. I swear she even surfed down the line of the wave, but I definatly saw her flick her now slightly blond hair out of her face, she jumped off, screamed with both hands in the air, and paddled straight back out and simply said "I'm STOKED".
My work here is done, Sam can surf, and the Puta Madre is allowed back in bed at night.
Chris

When You've Got Nothing To Do...

Travelling is weird. You think of travelling and you see yourself jumping out of a plane, dangling off a bridge from an elastic band, or smoking dried frogs with a tribesman, and doing something crazy every day. It's not like that.
You do do these things but in between there are big, long, gaps of...nothingness.
Doing nothing is not something we are used to, you never get taught it at school, and we aren't people who want to do nothing.
But we must admit that we're getting quite good at it in Australia. When you've seen a dozen stunning National Parks, you're a bit bored of the beach, and the surf is flat, you find yourself with nothing to do.
This afternoon was the perfect example. Making tea on the gas stove is somethign we do to entertain ourselves, and as any good Englishman knows a cup of tea is no good without a biscuit. We'd ran out of biscuits, so we were extreemely excited at the prospect of a visit to the local corner shop (something to do).
We picked up our Arnott's Digestives and were about to leave the shop when the realisation dawnned on us, after this...we had nothing to do.
Chris and I looked at each other, we didn;t need to say anything, we both knew what we had to do...browse and loiter around the shop's aisles to kill some time.
We marvelled at their range of tinned green poeas, and discussed the benefits of owning a long handled versus a short handled brush. After commenting on the smooth feel of vacuum packed food products, we felt the stare from the shop assistant and concluded we'd overstayed our welcome.
So when you next picture yourself going travelling, don't think of yourself zorbing down Mount Everest, think of yourself having the time to write crap like this!

P.S. And yes we did draft it...twice!

Dolphins, Surfing, Dolphins, Surfing...

We must be boring the hell out of you guys but it really is all we do. So here is another story about dolphins and surfing. You're lucky I'm telling this one. I'll make it quick. Punch in right arm.
Guess what? We arrived in Yamba, and I went for a surf, it was a beautiful hot clear day, hot enough to just surf in my shorts. This time i wasn't on my own, and the surf was a clean , hollow & peeling perfectly to the right and left. After about 1 hour, I notice the dorsal fins again. I'm ready for it this time, last nights dinner stays where it's supposed to.
I quick glance at the guys next to me confirms that everything is cool and to just enjoy having them around. I catch a few more waves, and the doplins ride in the waves together with us jumping out the back when we get too close.
Looking back at the beach I notice Sam isn't watching, so I surf in to tell her the dolphins are out. Her face lights up, and with a twinkle in one eye, and a empty glass of champagne in her hand she bounces off back to the van to grab her wetsuit and boogie board. 10 minutes later and she is kicking as hard as possible to join me about out back of the waves. She arrives drenched and a bit bedraggled but still beaming. I was mistaken to think she a come for a surf, she wants me and her to swim in amoungst the dolphins!!! WHAT! I exclaim, "No way, they are totally wild, and who knows how they will react to someone swimming in amoungst them", but the champagne is working and she convinces me to tow her over to them for a kiss and a cuddle. Although i was pretty nervous it was a wicked experience, at one point we were surrounded by about 8, jumping up and around each other, spraying us with water. We stopped at actually touching them, as I noticed they had a baby and may get a bit protective. Sam had a wicked time, and half an hour later she surfed her way back to the beach for a tan, and a champagne top up.
Catch you later,
Chris

Up close to the Dolphins

Hi all,

I had the most amazing day in Port Macquarie recently. I dragged Chris away from the surf and sold him the idea of going on a dolphin safary with me, the grabber for him was that I'd chosen one that included a devonshire tea (scones, cream, jam, etc..).
When we first set off I had a feeling that we weren't going to see very much, 2 minutes into the trip we saw a few dolsal fins pop up but no more than I'd seen from the beach, and I wanted to get VERY close to them. The fins disappeared and for an hour, nothing. I felt dissapointed and like I'd wasted money, and Chris still hadn't got his scones.
A little girl who was stood next to me started manically poiting and shouting "dolphin, dolphin!", and there they where 2 huge dolphins right in from of us. They came right up to us, I could have touched them, they where playing in the wave and they kept going on their side to have a look at us. I'm not joking, they where seriously interested in having a look at us, and swam on their sides with a big grin and their eye fixed on us waving at them.

Then a third one came and went beserk!! He was jumping, making really loud noises, swimming backwards and on his back to you could see his belly, he loved the attention!!!
Here are a couple of shots but they don't do them justice, I was too busy feeling completely stoked to focus on taking photos.

Camp Statues

We played Camp Statues again last night, check out our latest moves when the light came back on. Send photos of your Camp Statue moves to me via email and we will judge the best.

Did Some More Surfing...

Sam At Seal Rocks Yesterday..

Chris At Lighthouse Beach on Wednesday..

Dingos, Dinosaurs and Demonds

Is Australia's wildlife friendly or ferocious?
Yesterday I felt as thought there was a natural conspiracy when I nearly died of fright 3 times.
I have to explain that we are staying in a National Park in the middle of nowhere, in a place called Treatchery Camp (I know I know, might as well be called Cape Fear!!!).
So it's early afternoon and I'm having a Sound of Music moment & sprinted back from the toilets towards Chris. Suddenly from between the trees a bird almost flew into my face but I dodged it and kept running through the woods. I stop. Immediate instinctive breaks...I feel danger. And there, right in front of me & hissing REALLY loudly at me, is a 2 meter long lizzard!!!
The poor dinosaur must have thought I was charging straight at him, he can't hear Julie Andrews so he is in defense mode, ready to jump at me.
So I hesitate for a moment with the lizzard & his mouth wide open just a meter away from my face and then common sense takes over. I slowly back away and when it's safe I turn and run away from it letting out an expletive.

The 2nd time Chris & I where playing hide and seek in the woods @ dusk. It's our last game and so far my hidding has been rubbish so I want to make my final attempt a good one. Chris starts counting and i run as fast as my legs would take me into the forest. I stop to hide behing a tree and I'm about to crouch down when I hear a crunch (like a twigg being stepped on). I slowly turn my head to the left, and there they are...two dingoes with their legs open, staring at me! I was paralysed for a moment and thenI walked back facing them & shouting "Chriiiiiiiiiissssss!!!!!" in a low but very loud voice. Chris came running over and at the sight of his boofhead they ran away.

The 3rd event was at 2am. I was fast asleep when I felt Chris uneasy between myself and the blonde. I asked if he was ok and he shushed me and told me to listen. It took me about 2 seconds to tune into what was happenning, and I can't believe it hadn't woken me up. In the pitch black, emmanating from just above our heads was a sound. Imagine the following sounds mixed together: Darth Vader, the girl from the exorcist, and the devil. It was a loud heavy breathing with a dirty snarl to it. My heart was in my throat and I felt like I was going to have a heart attack with fear. We worried even more when Chris banged the van & unlike most normal animals of reasonable size , it didn't run away, it carried on breathing demonically.
Eventually it stopped very suddenly and we still haven't found out what it was, but I didn't sleep after that.
So, is Australia's wildlife friendly or ferocious? I think you know my answer.

Spot The Lizard

SHARK!!!

It was a Tuesday morning, the surf had been big and messy, so Chris drove me 20km out of our way to find a beach with clean surf. We arrived at Cellitto beach in a National Park, its just off Seal Rocks which is renowned for its marine *wildlife* which includes the infamous Ozzie shark.
As we walked onto the long deserted beach I had a really BAD feeling that made my heart feel heavy with dread. You could tell Chris felt edgy but he was desperate for a surf. Unusually I decided to give the ploys a miss and watch him like a hawk.
So out he paddled about 100 meters completely on his own, no other surfers, and sits with his feet dangling in the water. About 10 minutes later a heavy shape catches the corner of my eye. Its in a wave about 10 meters to Chris' right.
I felt sick... I'll let Chris tell the rest of the story....

I'm not keen on surfing on my own, but this time i was even more weary of my feet dangling in the water. It doesn't matter how good the surf is my mind sometimes wanders into think what it would be like to see a shark, or get bitten. I guess i have just watched Jaws too many times.
I`d been waiting a while because the waves were a bit fat, slow and hard to catch. I turned to look at Sam who was stood on the beach frantically waving her hand in the air which for some reason I didn't take as a 'hello', but more of a 'get out of the water!'.
My heart does a double skip and my legs start to tremble. I lie down on my board and start paddling in, when suddenly, my worst fear realised, between Sam on the beach, and me rises the stereotypical, single, large, grey dorsal fin out of the water. It cut through the water about 10 meters infront of me,....... there is no way I could EVER explain the feeling that shot from my head to my feet, but I remember my head went light and dizzy, and my legs and arms totally numb.
I dont know how i was still paddling, but I was moving towards it because it was between me and where i wanted to be...the beach.
In real time in must of been only a few seconds before the fin surfaced again, but it felt alot longer. I'm still paddling, and the fin surfaces again, but this time along with SIX others ! Its at this point when my numb jaw feeling begins to fade as I realise that this isn't the scariest moment of my life, but one of the coolest.... I was surfing (or paddling) with Dolphins!
None the less I catch the next wave in and get dumped back on the beach, extremely relieved. It was wicked to watch the doplhins jump in and out of the waves, but I will never forget that image of the single dorsal popping out of the water in front of me.
The craziest thing is... my phsyco wife ensured the whole thing was caught on video!!

Hi, its Sam again, 250 quid from " You've been framed" would'nt of filled the void but isn't to be sniffed at!
Most people wouldn't of got back in the water but I told you about the inane smile he gets when surfing.... 5 minutes later he got back in! Crazy fool!..... So I turned the camera back on.

P.S (Chris) I was chatting to a guy last night who did actually see a shark yesterday, and made it out of the water! He reckons that for every shark you see, another 30 swim past you without you knowing! Anyway, surfs up...