Yosemite Park and Crazy Election Party

We arrived late last night and booked into a cheap hotel in a small town just outside the park. The woman behind the counter told us that there was going to be an earthquake in San Francisco soon. She could tell because everytime it gets that hot in November there is an earthquake. Great.
We popped into the slightly scary small redneckish town to find some food. The only place that was still open was a small bar next called Jade. We nervously stuck our heads through the door only to be met by a MASSIVE guy who drags us in to a Karaoke crazed drunked brawl of a party to celebrate the local supervisor winning election.
As we walk fully into the bar everybody turns to look. After looking us up and down twice they turn back to thier beers. I can hear squeeling pigs and banjos in my head.
The bar is full of men with baseball caps, no teeth, spitting tabaco, and tattoos of the American flags on thier arms.
There is a free buffet which we get 'told' to eat. We relectantly eat some food only to recieve some more deathly looks from mad old haggered ladies at the bar. We later learnt that everybody had made their own food and bought it to the bar.
I ordered a Bud and settled down only for some caos at the Karaoke machine. A rough looking girl jumps up to the mike and shouts "I F##KING HATE YOU JENNA, GET OUT OF MY LIFE" Everybody in the bar starts hollering at her so she runs out the back door. I'm bursting with laughter loving every minute of it. Next the big guy who dragged us in comes and talks to Sam. He tells her to try one of the cookies. Sam politely replies "Thankyou - yes i already had a few, they were lovely" He roars with laughter telling her that he made them himself and stuffed them full of "them magic mushrooms". Sams face drains and she suddenly comes over dizzy. We prop her against the bar and I order another beer. Next an obviosly very popular contry song come on called 'Sroke me'. All the girls in the bar rush to the front to give the best display of line dancing ever witnessed.
This is one of the cool things about travelling, you can suddenly end up in the craziest situations, and because you are so relaxed, you dont care but just get into it and have a wicked laugh.
Next we meet Ron the texan. We have learnt that Texans are the dangerous ones, they are the ones with the guys who only care about how big stuff is. Texas even has a sign at their state border saying "Dont Mess with Texas!". Anyway, Ron staggers up to Sam and starts telling her that Texas is "Abat one 'undred time bigga dan inglaaand", and that its "900 miles lung 'an 900 mile wide a' its narrowest point" and how we would be able to afford a house there, "arr built forty hauses last year".
My sides are splitting still, get me another beer.
Finally the big man himself walks in to cheers. Tom Wheeler an old guy with a moustach, cowboy neck tie and cowboy boots under his pin stripe suit. He has rudely interupted a massive short haired blond girl with boob tube and skin tight jeans from singing Stupid Cupid and dancing to an imaginary pole.
WE finally decide it is best to leave before guns get drawn. We were belly laughing all the way back to the hotel at the surreal experience.
What a night! We love America, and especially the Americans. They ROCK!

Oh yeah then we came to Yosemite. We reckon it would be nice if we could see through the clouds and rain. We did see some giant trees.

P.S We are stranded as the mustang just broke down. However we did manage to break down by a resturant with internet station. We have 4 hours to wait for the tow truck as there has been a landslide (perhaps due to the imminent earthquake)